Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
