apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
