Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
