Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
