There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
