well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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