whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
