remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize