Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
