We got so high we made milksteak
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Couch. On fire.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
