YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
