I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
