Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
