It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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