They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
