just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
