He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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