Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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