Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
