yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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