is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize