bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
