So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
