There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
