no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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