Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
