Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.

Fav 14 5520 1360
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(607): View more from New York

I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

Fav 13 3673 1222
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

Fav 6 1686 765
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(916): View more from California

Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

Fav 8 1642 892
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(647): View more from Ontario

Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

Fav 2 611 1202
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know

Fav 0 84 11
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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity

(908): View more from New Jersey

**cactuseses

Fav 0 19 45
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