I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
