It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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