I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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