best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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