so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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