Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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