she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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