I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
