I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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