Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
