You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
