Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
