i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
