guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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