She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
