worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
