ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
