i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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