smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize