marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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