Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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