the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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