How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
