wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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