dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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