I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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