Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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