If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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