she woke up with a sticky ear
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
