What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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