five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
