I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
