Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
