I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
