sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
