I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think your dad took our porno
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
