What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
