Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
