are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
