school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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