Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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